10 hilarious moments that perfectly sum up Soccer Aid
From "Craig Doyle passes to Diego Maradona" to Serge Pizzorno's Golazzo, this is Soccer Aid at it's best.
Soccer Aid is back. The charity football match, organised by Robbie Williams to raise money for UNICEF, that pits England against the Rest of the World, celebrity against professional, lads from Love Island against Ballon d'Or winners, returns for its eighth outing this Sunday at Stamford Bridge.
This iteration differs slightly from the past fixtures, stars from the world of women's football will feature for the first time and it's the first time the match will be played at the home of Chelsea. Crucially, it's also the first game to take place outside the usual biennial cycle of preceding a major tournament, so Soccer Aid 2019 is more fan fiction than Soccer Aid canon.
Anyway, to celebrate it's glorious return here's ten great moments from previous Soccer Aid fixtures.
10. Craig Doyle Passes To Diego Maradona
2006 was a different time, Manchester City were signing the likes of Paul Dickov and most of Liverpool's transfer budget was being spent on Jermaine Pennant. Then Soccer Aid changed everything, especially for a plucky young television presenter from Dublin. Craig Doyle, now the face of rugby on BT Sport, played a pass to Diego Maradona, one of the finest players to have ever graced the game, which led Clive Tyldesley to utter the immortal words; "Craig Doyle passes to Diego Maradona", which Doyle then used as his ringtone. Because of course you would.
9. Touré Off
Yaya Touré, much like superstar 2006 signing Paul Dickov, is a Manchester City legend, which meant that when the Ivorian midfielder turned up to play at Old Trafford for the Rest of the World at Soccer Aid 2018 his every touch was roundly booed by the crowd. Harry Redknapp, in the away dugout, knew exactly how to make the jeering stop - by bringing on his assistant manager, one Eric Cantona.
8. Man V. FoodFootball
Whatever happens with Mourinho, let's remember him for his finest moment: subbing Adam Richman before he touched the ball on Soccer Aid— Clive Martin (@thugclive) October 28, 2015
Nowadays, nutrition in football is crucial. From pasta to roast chicken, it's important to eat the right things before you go onto the pitch. Sadly for Adam Richman, star of Man V. Food, that doesn't include a six pound burrito or a twelve pound burger, which may go someway to explaining why his 78th minute introduction at Soccer Aid 2014 led to an 83rd minute departure. Still, it's probably not the shortest outing José Mourinho has ever given a player.
7. Can't Score, Won't Score
If Soccer Aid was a Sunday League side then Olly Murs would be given the Clubman of the Year award, answering the call to appear in the match on five different occasions. Unfortunately for Olly, none of those five caps for England have yielded a goal - instead, he's had two infamous open goal misses – one he spurned wide at Soccer Aid 2016 and one he put so high it almost certainly landed in Salford Quays at Soccer Aid 2018 – that would make Chelsea era Fernando Torres look prolific.
6. Hat-trick Hero
Who remembers Clarence Seedorf’s hat-trick at Soccer Aid 2014? The legend is back this year! 👌— Soccer Aid ⚽️ (@socceraid) April 2, 2018
🎟Tickets for 10th June available at https://t.co/ihLTUR4Ruq or call 0161 444 2018 pic.twitter.com/dxAsx0QNpR
Numerous Champions League winners have featured at Soccer Aid, from Jaap Stam and Cafu to Andriy Shevchenko and Luís Figo, it can't be easy to then play alongside Joe Calzaghe or Gordon Ramsay. So when four time Champions League winner Clarence Seedorf was in a squad alongside Westlife's Nicky Byrne and Jeremy Renner, otherwise known as Hawkeye from The Avengers, he took matters into his own hands by scoring the only hat-trick in Soccer Aid history.
5. Calm Down, Pal
At the end of the day, Soccer Aid is a charity match - but you try telling that to Edgar Davids. Back at Soccer Aid 2014, when his former teammate Clarence Seedorf was busy finding the net three times, Davids was getting into scraps with Professional Robbie Williams Best Mate Jonathan Wilkes after the Soccer Aid legend took umbrage with a tackle from the ex-Juventus and Barnet midfielder.
Still, they posed for a Water Under The Bridge photo at full-time.
4. Tackled By The Greats
Zinedine Zidane has faced off against some of the greatest defenders in history, the likes of Paolo Maldini and Fabio Cannavaro have been challenged to limit the French legend's skill and flair. But Zidane's toughest opponent? You'd have to imagine it's Tipping Point presenter Ben Shephard.
At Soccer Aid 2010, and with the 1998 Ballon d'Or winner bearing down on the Old Trafford goal, Shephard executed the kind of slide tackle that Phil Jones and Chris Smalling would do well to study.
3. Enjoy Your Trip
There was a time when the crowd at Old Trafford would laugh along with José Mourinho's antics, but that was when he was managing the Rest of the World at Soccer Aid rather than bringing on Marouane Fellaini for Marcus Rashford. The high point of the Portuguese antics undoubtedly came at Soccer Aid 2014 when Clubman of the Year Olly Murs was running down the wing only for Mourinho to step onto the pitch to trip Murs up.
2. Serge Pizzorgoal
The Rest of the World squad at Soccer Aid, much like the Irish national team of the eighties and nineties, doesn't really care about your heritage just so long as you sound vaguely eligible. So when Serge Pizzorno, the Devon born guitarist for Leicester based Kasabian, decided he was Italian at Soccer Aid 2012 then the organisers just sort of went along with it.
Then, in the 22nd minute of the match, he pulled out the kind of goal that Roberto Baggio or Francesco Totti would be proud of to put his adopted nation of Rest of the World a goal up. England would go on to win 3-1 but Pizzorno's goal is remembered as one of the very best in Soccer Aid history.
1. Celebrity Shootout
Back in 2010, England weren't great at penalty shootouts - and the organisers of Soccer Aid weren't completely sure what to do in the event of a draw. In the end they settled on a penalty shootout in which only the celebrities could participate. As the likes of Mike Myers and Brian Lara scored, Jamie Theakston missed giving True Detective and Cheers actor Woody Harrelson the chance to win it for the Rest of the World.
Fast forward to 2018, and the sides finish deadlocked again as an 82nd minute Michael Owen goal made it 3-3 and sent the game to another penalty shootout. This time Homeland actor David Harewood performed heroics in goal giving Inbetweeners star Blake Harrison the chance to win the Soccer Aid trophy. He duly did, and England haven't lost a penalty shootout since.